My Friend Just Landed In Tikrit And I Feel Uncool About This

Every time a person tells a war story, especially if they are a veteran, there is always a small risk that the less informed will be impressed enough to go and emulate you.

While I consider that to be a low probability event with regard to my friend who just landed in Tikrit this week, I feel bad. Just plain bad, like I should have tried harder to talk him out of this. We've known Iraq was complete bullshit for three years now, I just didn't want to stand between him and his goals. And there is definitely money to be had in his direction, perhaps contracting later, in the US or abroad, so....

So I get to feel weird and hope he makes it.

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In other news, I've found out about a course offered at a local school that would make me about 1000% more valuable in my job. I've been considering some resume puffing actions, and this would be one of the best, along with, of course, passing all the office based trainings. Since I have the object lesson of my pal 80 Hours (mentioned last blog) I will for damn sure get my own office correspondence education clicking along right to ensure I get money in the briefest window possible.

Overtime has cut into my quality of life a bit this week, I would have to say. I could have really used more time off, just to take the edge off, but the money is going to be nice. It's going to be revenge money, to tell the truth. And my wardrobe! My god! I have been walking around in clothes like my mother dressed me for almost ten years now, with a few exceptions. I have to rebuild my 'city' wardrobe. Some leather (pleather, whatever) boots, some pleather/latex/leather pants, basically the kind of thing you can go goth clubbing in, that's what I'm after. Ridiculous, right? Well, that's what I need right now. I bought a stupid vacation, and you know what I feel? Nothing. I might be wrong, it might be the most awesome vacation in the history of the world, but it isn't doing me a lick of good right now.

Accords: I am officially getting along much better with some people on my shift. I have found out who the natural backstabbers are, and are leaving them be, while I cultivate the people with actual training and interest in advancing. All while hopefully maintaining a low profile.

Arguments: The biggest douche in the whole job just got made my manager in a full office shuffle, while my cool boss is now my former cool boss. I'm new in the job and adaptable, but this pissed me off a little. I have been warned this guy is the king of douchebags, so I'm hoping my coping skills will let me ignore most of his bs until he gets comfortable in the job (expect that will be about six months.)


Exercise: I walked a bunch, walked like a crazy man, 70 hours of walking around, I should be getting fitter, right? I have a gym membership, haven't even gone in there, between bullshit with my girlfriend crying from work stress and helping a buddy in the east bay deal with some personal problems, my time has evaporated. Overtime is also in my way. I won't be taking any more of that, and we'll see if that fixes things.

Sex: Nonexistent, both of us are doing 60 hour weeks. The intimacy is still good, but...there have been sacrifices to making more money.

Music: Crazy week for new music. Bought 'Parade' and '1999', California Thrash Songs compilation, Spazz compilations (I regret the Spazz purchase, lordy, they suck. Even if they are contemporaries of Infest, it's Infest I want, because they do not suck. Easy right? It's a degree of musical subtlety, the Spazz guitarist is easily better than anyone in Infest, but who cares when he's playing shit songs to shit music with some shitty lead vocalists?) I also got 'The Time' and 'Wild and Loose' from the The Time in my continuing quest to rebuild my music collection. Also 'The Weirdness' from The Stooges, which goes to prove even the greatest front man in the world can't help you if you don't have a strong sound man. My friends from Luchabrazzi is still on repeat, got that CD for free at a show, they are okay, not really my thing, but more pleasant than I gave them credit for. I think they are much more impressive live, they sound tame on their cd.

Travel: Back and forth to the East Bay, work, nothing special.

Old Stuff: Overtime pays a ton, but I plan to take a lot less of it, I'd rather have the higher pay to show for doing good work, fuck working 70 hours!

New Experiences:Lost Girls by Alan Moore and Melinda Gildes. Hulloo! This is erotica done right. *fans self* Woo, warm in here?

Microenvironment: Well, I cleaned up, not that you can tell. It's a thing you have to pay attention to daily. I threw some stuff out, opened up the space a little, and some of the old papers are finally being thrown out. All my training materials are stacking up, I still need them so I can't toss them out, but I have to file them, I know they will be vital later. I am less wound up about this, the dishes don't seem impossible to defeat.

Macroenvironment: The housing crisis has hit California very quietly, but we can now see where the eyesore begins. It's Antioch, which has neighborhoods with 12 missing houses and falling home values for the ones who stay. My guatemalan god mother says she knows a lot of new immigrants who bought in Antioch with variable loans. Not suprising that they abandoned homes with 3K mortgages now. I keep wondering where SF will get screwed first...housing on the good side of the Hunters Point?

Working with Bitches (Mandatory Sadly)

Of late, I have had the company of several of my co-workers during a training window before I assume my full work tasks. Their caliber has ranged from the most scandalous job cheats and near-outright thieves to merely being competent with no motivation to being highly skilled and compliant with workplace regulations; slavish, dogmatic (and usually burned out.)

I partnered with a man who is basically working an 80 hour week with a commute back to the East Bay on top of that. There is just nothing I can contribute to his experience, he and I are not working the same job. I have observed though that he is primarily fishing for opportunities with 'being seen' by a higher profile shift, and that in six months of what was basically hard work with some butt kissing thrown in, he is in the same place, making the same money. He had the opportunity to apply himself to workplace classes that can raise your pay grade, and he's passed on them, since he feels the commute is not worth it. I feel this was at best a short-term view of his finances, since a raise means more overtime too, right?

Of the various folks I have met so far, the weaker workers have also been struggling with the language. Many people give them some leeway because of their less than clear understanding of all the job functions....they can accomplish the basics, but the higher applications of the work escape them, and they can't ever realistically hope to achieve the in-office pay grade training or get enough respect to be promoted without it. So that's that for them, their options are to take two jobs and hope they don't plant their cars into a ditch driving home.

Despite this, I have found these second language coworkers very laid back. Maybe it's the lack of sleep, but I appreciate their relaxed approach to the job. I feel a certain amount of hustle is necessary, even desirable, and that it is basically what culls the best from the rest, but since driving safe is a function of my work, what does rushing over my biotech's campus matter?

Ironically, the three men I have met so far at my work most worthy of respect and exemplary of the extremely serious school of public contact and management are respectively;
1) Regarded with a mix of dread and respect
2)Regarded poorly even by his coworkers (I've heard him called 'that fucking 'OJ' so I assume he really earned it, he seems like a very jerk-snap military style of leader)
3) The perfect leader, gracious, knowledgeable, no wasted action....wound too tight and everyone knows it. He's a school shooting waiting to happen.

I have contempt for people who do the job just to look good. I feel sorry for people who either don't fully understand the job or just do it for money, without any hope of promotion of pay grade raise. I like people who just do the job, and if it makes them look good, hey, nice bonus.

My proximity to work is greatly relieving any stress I think would be acculmulating, I feel great, and the money helps. I blew 250 bucks just for fun a week ago, just to show myself what that was like. Feels good, I missed living above the poverty line.

Accords: I seem to be well liked.
Arguments: No beefs. Any misunderstandings chalked up to 'teaching'.
Exercise:Moderate amount of walking at work, my knee is keeping me from the gym.
Sex: Cold, pinched nerve in my neck, back beef, then my knee went out. The one day I had free she played WoW, so no, but on the other hand, Athena rules my skies right now.
Music: Found Last FM, interesting, but about six times the sucky bands to cull to make a decent channel.
Travel: Quick trip to Alameda, work.
Old Stuff: Myspace and Palladium books have my attention for some reason.
New Experiences: Read 'Soul Catcher' by Frank Herbert. Fascinating, not really sci-fi though. Bit weird.
Microenvironment: My home is messy, and some of it is my fault, but I still hate it. On Monday I have to clean and do some chores or I will go insane.
Macroenvironment: The world is fucked, and the United States seems intent on overspending itself into infinity. I have loose plans to restart in the UK. I remain unconvinced these plans are unnecessary.

Reasons

I had been thinking over getting my Blogspot wings for a year. I am not sure of the exact moment I outgrew myspace and livejournal. I may still not have outgrown Tribe.com but my distaste for it's changes keeps it in the same club. I think a blog of my very own, where I can drop javascript if I feel like it was just in order.

I had also encountered 'A Veracity Problem' with nearly all the above services. I like to tell it like it is, viscerally. Most of those services were for little kids, or just not the kind of place you would drop a lurid adventure of the variety adults can have. Or even adult thoughts or observations....livejournal is at best a place for young college students.

Add to that recent frustrations adding political tickers and polls to my LJ, and here I am at the jump.

You could also call this an experiment in artificial intelligence. That is to clarify...I have not alerted any of my friends of my jump, nor will I. I am interested to see whose technology will detect my conversion to blogspot without communication between myself and my friends, and how long I can remain anonymous in this avatar. Well, as anonymous as my posted email, which is the one I use regularly (but am considering dropping, I mean, come on, it's sitting right there atop my profile, who's genius idea was that? Have they never heard of web-trawlers and spammers?)

Still, the image problem. I have to get an image that conveys some element of what I am seeking here. And that would be? That would be as complete a journal as possible of my adventures in the Bay Area during the period of my life from Oct 4 2007 until the time of my death at an undisclosed time in the future.
People are always chatting about their impressions, but there is always some motive behind their venting--a newspaper, blatant self promotion in the case of professional authors and bloggers wanting advertising splits, credibility as experts for the political bloggers who want to get called to comment on various news shows; my reasons are just and unsolicited by anyone. I am not a professor, nor an actor or a showman. I will speak about what turns me on and what makes me sad, and the only motivation to do so will be to leave an accurate record for my loved ones who are literate enough to find it in the future.

I had an idea about assessing my days in the following format as a way to start my thoughts going.

Accords:
Arguments:
Exercise:
Sex:
Music:
Travel:
Old Stuff:
New Experiences:
Microenvironment:
Macroenvironment:

My money is on you my intelligent friends. I think you will find me and we will be communicating in less than a year, but time will tell. Well, perhaps your tools will also tell.